You’ve given him everything, heart, mind, body and soul. Loyalty and unconditional love to the 10th power. What happened, what went wrong, WTF, why did he cheat?
It was 1998, I was about 22-23 years old working at a famed luxury retailer called Henri Bendel in New York City Manhattan 5th avenue. I worked there as an in-house operations associate. It was a heavenly environment to dwell in because nothing but beautiful woman worked there. It was an uplifting pleasure and honor to be friends with them all. The ego was not rationalized. I had a couple of previous years in the gym, so yes, my physique was cemented together nicely. The ladies may have been 5-10 years older than I was, but hot damn, I get the looks from some of them that wanted to take me home. Everyday I couldn’t wait to get to work, It was eye candy kingdom. One of my main responsibilities was to observe the daily operations of the sales floor for a general number of reasons that aligned with my job functions.
A lot of the women working there were makeup artist. They represented companies ranging from MAC, Bobbi Brown, Laura Mercier, Trish Mcevoy , etc. There was also a hair salon on the upper level which housed more stunning beauties. Guys would come into the store and try to hit on these women daily. It was a laughable sight because I had all of these sexy ladies to myself 365 days a year, from a certain point of view of course. The atmosphere was grand and filled with enjoyment while on site. An aurora of beautiful smiles and greetings were abundant. However, I started to take note of some things. It wasn’t all cheers and joy as I thought. These super sexy beautiful women had dark clouds floating above their presence. What did I begin to notice?
Taking my breaks or lunch periods, whether walking to get food or just aimlessly walking the streets, I began to see these same lovely ladies that I work with and admire struggle with emotions in dark corners. On cell phones screaming and yelling, tears coming down their beautiful faces. All the while, I was confused and even more disheartening, there was nothing I could do to make things better. The Prognosis to all of this? The cheating boyfriend or husband. Pisses my off every single time.
One woman stood out among them all, Gloria Danqua. A mixed nationality composed of Russian, African American, and French. Gloria was the most beautiful gal I’ve ever encountered at that time. She was 5”3 with glowing caramel skin as if she bathed in cocoa butter everyday. Real hazel green eyes, brown long curly hair poised with such an elegant natural posture whether walking or standing. Her voice was an anomaly of pure femininity. About 130lbs, her physique evolutionized as that of a slim hour glass on top of business type heels. It wasn’t her physical beauty that made her though, it was her demeanor and unique character traits that enhanced and positively fabricated her appeal immensely. This was a woman’s woman. On the Job though, Gloria had the biggest issue. It was with her husband which for the life of me, I couldn’t understand.
I would see her cry periodically and I couldn’t stand it. One day I caught her off guard while she stood in the rain a couple of blocks from the job. She just got off the phone and developed a sad decay in her eyes. The only thing I could think to say was, how can I help. She was so upset and just expressed her husband of 4 years was cheating. The excruciating calm but silent pain was apparent in her voice. Gloria knew that It was over. From there, her and I became really good friends. Gloria’s husband had money as a financial consultant profession. He was in a position to buy anything he wanted. Naturally the vulture type women flocked to his success which eventually led to Gloria’s demise.
I became a shoulder to lean on, to confide in. As a woman, she told me what not to do as a man while in a relationship, what I need to understand, and the importance of putting your woman first by being truthful and honest. For all the men out there, know the results and astronomical effects it has on a woman when you cheat. What do you get?
#1 – Good Women are hard to find.
While I agree there are plenty of fish in the sea, the more men cheat at an early age, it has an affect on the number of those fish mentalities especially as we get older. Women on a large scale will be apprehensive about giving their hearts to someone. It’s not playing hard to get, but more so based on experience, hard to trust. Excess doesn’t equate to quality. When will men understand that?
#2 – You’ll never get her back.
Men that cheat, good women will never take them back no matter how hard the effort is. If she does decide to go back, it will never be the same. A real woman values her body. It’s a spiritual connection that she gives to her man. You’ve broken the loyalty code and have become untrustworthy. Words are meaningless and your actions dictates the type of person you are. Scumbag
#3 – Every man suffers her pain
The new woman that you’re now fond of dated a cheater like you in the past. You’re scratching your head as to why she’s not opening up to you. The universe alerted her about your existence.
#4 – Lies
Lying to your woman only makes things worse. The most educated man will never understand a woman’s mind. Be respectfully truthful or you’ll loose her forever.
#5 – Emotionally unavailable
Women love harder than men. 10 years can go by from a previous bad relationship, yet that stench is still there in some shape or form. More men today are feeling the pinch of this. The more men stop cheating, the tone of willingness will set center stage for women to be more accepting.
#6 – Bad choices
The List can go on. Men can’t keep blaming women for choosing bad men in their lives. The door swings both ways. You never know what you’re getting until some time and history has settled in. Men need to be reasonably understanding that everyone is entitled to forgiveness. There are some women that do forgive the cheaters. Love is not a light switch you can just turn on and off, especially with women. Men, advocate responsibility of your woman’s heart. Educate your friends, sons, nephews etc about the repercussions of betraying a true love. It doesn’t just effect your relationship, but all future relationships to come.
The cheating man seems to be a common thing these days whether they’re rich, poor or in between. Women are rebelling and standing up for themselves in their own ways. What will men do to try and change this culture? How do men approach this? I have an idea, It begins by evaluation in the mirror.